There is a statement that I first heard in the early 1980's: "If you think you won't like the answer, don't ask the question." Now, nearly thirty years later, I still ascribe to its wisdom and fully believe the axiom.
I find that its usefulness appears almost daily - either for me or someone else, as was the case today.
A phone call came from a close friend, one of whose offspring is trying her patience, pushing her buttons, and bringing her to alternating stages of anger and tears on a regular basis. When this friend called today, she was crying, beside herself with extreme thinking, borrowing more trouble than the federal government would prescribe. As she talked and I listened, she was able to calm herself and that is when I reminded her "if you think you won't like the answer, don't ask the question."
Her reply gave me pause. She asked me if I thought she should just live in denial......that by not asking the question, she would never know the answer. In the next breath she decried wanting to know the answer OR not wanting to hear the answer she instinctively knows will be given.
After we ended our call, I took the time to reflect on her question, "Should I just live in denial?" I came to the conclusion that not wanting to know an answer does not equate to denial; that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to protect ourselves from hurt or insult; that each of us has the right to choose to hear (or not hear) the answer to a question when we choose to hear it.
Why would I voluntarily make the choice to hear an answer I do not wish to know?
Makes sense to me. How 'bout you?
Ancora imparo
