Today I had a viewpoint of mine driven home unexpectedly. The scenario that I watched underscored and emphasized something that I already know.........what NOT to do in a group setting.
Groups are funny 'things'. They rather have a life and a hierarchy of their own and I pity the person or persons who dare to disrupt a group's procedures. I sat in with an established group and witnessed some discomforting realities: Established groups do not adapt easily to new members, the leader of the group is vital to the group accepting new members and 'claimed' chairs are alive and well. None of these descriptors bode well for groups to grow, but perhaps, that is the point. Perhaps groups do not want to welcome new members.
What I observed transpiring is that newcomers to this group were not verbally welcomed, although a 'welcome back' was issued to an existing group member that had been absent; mention was made that "there were new team players and old team players in new seats"; and a comment/complaint from an existing group member that someone was "sitting in my chair" was allowed to remain without the group's leader responding with any welcoming remark to the newcomers. My awareness was heightened throughout the time frame that the group met and I wondered if the newcomers would return next week.
I do not think I would return to this group. Little effort was made to enfold the 'newbies' into the group and, frankly, some of the comments made might have encouraged me to get up and walk out, which these brave and intrepid folks did not. They stayed, much to their credit.
It was a powerful lesson driven home. As leaders, we have an incumbent responsibility to welcome new people to any group we are working with. To not do this shouts weak leadership skills and sends an all-too-powerful message to newcomers: Don't bother coming back. We like things the way they were. Go somewhere else.
May I long remember the lesson I re-learned today.
Ancora imparo
