The Short End of the Stick

Needing to give equal time to an opposing thought, I'm dedicating this posting to short people everywhere........including myself.

Yesterday's posting dealt with the negative side of being 'vertically challenged' and I have spent a good deal of time, since, mulling in my mind why being short is a positive physical attribute. I'm sorry to say that my talking points are few in number and limited in scope.

Here's what I've come up with:

• I buy less fabric at the fabric store.
  
• It is easier for me to play hide n' seek with my grandchildren.
• I usually miss all of the overhanging tree limbs.
  
• I can find food faster in the refrigerator because it is at eye level.
• I can use shorter kayaks, skis, and dinghies.
• The bed sheets on a full-size bed fit over my head.
• When cheerleading, the shortest person usually ends up on top of the pyramid.
  

That was it. I'm embarrassed, though, to admit that I thought of even more reasons why being shorter is more vexing than being taller. Going to a theatre or attending a live performance usually results in seeing very little of the action on the screen or stage because, invariably, some taller (not too hard to imagine) person(s) sits directly in front of me. In fact, I think that taller people are automatically drawn to sitting in front of shorter people. Do we have neon signs above our heads?

My final protestation is that when traveling in a car with more than two passengers, the shorter person almost always ends up (albeit voluntarily) in the back seat so that the one with the longer legs, in front, can feel free to push the seat ALL the way back, thereby easing that person's discomfort. Hmmm.

I'm not bitter.......it is just that I had to wait until I was thirty-one years old to be tall enough to ride the attractions at Walt Disney World and Epcot Center. Until then, my taller friends just patted me on my head and said, "Don't worry. You'll grow someday." I did, but now as I age, my spine is compacting and I'm regressing, height-wise. Give me a few more years and I'll be four feet tall.

Argh!

Ancora imparo