Lessons Learned

I thought it would be appropriate to document what I learned yesterday, during my zero birthday.  After all, life lessons are important and I will need to carry this pertinent knowledge through my next decade. 

I learned that the people who are most excited about sixtieth birthdays are those who are already sixty, for they desperately need other people to join their not-so-desirable club.

I learned that you should not have an age discussion with your SO right before you expect to sleep.  Premature morphing of ourselves into seventy years of age is not a sleep aid.  

I learned that gourmet cupcakes, like I see on the Food Network, do exist in my area and are mighty tasty!

I learned that you get a lot of advice and unsolicited help on your sixtieth birthday.  Here are some examples from yesterday:

• Watch your step now that your eyesight is waning. 
• Let me carry that for you.  Your strength isn't what it used to be.
• Be sure not to fall.  Your bones are brittle and your balance isn't what it used to be.
• Nuts?  Can you still chew them with the teeth that you have left?
• Didn't catch that?  I'LL SPEAK UP NOW THAT YOUR HEARING IS GOING.
• Oh, here, you have a crumb on your chin.  You must be drooling now.
• Need a magnifying glass?  No bother, I'll read it to you.  
• Oh, I forgot.  You don't hear so well, do you?
• Should I cut that cupcake up for you into smaller pieces?
• Maybe you should drink hot milk now instead of coffee.
• Careful now.  This is a big step for someone your age.
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY (shouted), GLAD I COULD MAKE YOUR PARTY!

 There were some gifts that I didn't receive or references to aging-jokes that didn't occur and for that I am thankful.  I did not receive a box of Depends.  PTL!  No one gave me dental cream for dentures.  No one suggested that I puree all my food now.  I did not receive a cane with a horn on it. 

I did learn that friends were thinking about me and that my family loves me.  For this I am very grateful.
I did learn that the gentlemen in the choir I direct sound even better with cupcake crumbs in their throats and windpipes!  Lotsa fun!

Ancora imparo