I won't even ask the question: "Have you ever had a day like this?", because I know each and every human has had a day where the thoughts are flying faster than the synapses can connect.
I am there. My faulty GPS took me there, without my knowledge and definitely without my permission. There seems to be this non-definable state that is a combination of confusion, determination not to be confused, resolve to keep "it" all together, dogged will to get all my thoughts down onto lists, and the reality that when I look at one thing, it will trigger another thought about another "thing".
I just have too many things going on in my brain which, despite my need for it to be performing at top efficiency, seems destined, today, to continually fault out, much like the sputtering light switch that Capt. SO keeps fiddling with. I swear that I have a pad of paper, with writing instrument next to it, in every room of the condo, each pad having a list of "things" written on it that pop into my head. I am amazed that I slept as well as I did last night because on my walk this morning, I kept thinking of "things" and my brain was filled with desperation to hold onto those thoughts until I could get home and spill the thoughts out onto paper.
With every cross-out line I draw through a list item, I count it as a small victory as my brain fights the concept of eminent domain seizure from some unseen force that wants to derail my cognitive functions. My cerebrum seems to be caught in a dual to the death between the voices that shout "Think, think, think!" and the other voices that shout "Not today, not today, not today"!
Who will win? I know which set of voices needs to win and I can feel a settling effect simply from typing this posting. Somehow, forcing my mind to spell, create syntax, and add punctuation has helped quell the disparate disagreement raging in my head. For the moment, my zen has returned, but once my fingers leave the safety and security of my laptop's keyboard, I cannot assure anyone of a full sentence being able to be uttered from my mouth....at least today.
I have about seventeen hours to get "it" together.
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."
Ancora imparo
