There are many things I am not. Naturally fashionable is one of them. I have friends and acquaintances that are fashionable to the bone. They ooze fashionality (made-up word) and, I'm certain, could carry off donning a black, plastic garbage bag and people would pronounce them fashionistas. I, on the other hand, could wear that same black, plastic garbage bag and someone might mistake me as a fall-off from a Waste Management truck and would simply try to toss me back on to the garbage truck.
Realizing that I am no fashionista, as the current buzz-word would imply, I made an attempt to become more fashionable by wearing one of those weird and soft, fuzzy-yarned scarves around the collar of my winter coat. Now, I must admit that in the mirror, at least, the overall effect is good. So good, in fact, that I took three cast-off scarves from my daughter, and paired them with three different winter coats. I was feeling rather smug thinking that I had now arrived at fashionable and feeling proud that I liked my reflection in the pond as I gazed over the bridge's railing.
However, (Yes, there is a however here.) I have about had it with being fashionable. Those scarves, while adding a bit of uncharacteristic pizazz to my appearance, are about as annoying as can be. A few days ago, I informed my SO that my fashionable days were numbered. I am far too practical to put up with having to always putz with the scarf going underneath the hood of each coat....having to check to see that each side of the scarf is hanging down an equal distance....having to mess about with the scarf every time I hang up a coat....or my least favorite annoyance.....every time I bend over the scarf is either dragging on the wet, snowy ground or falling into some unwanted substance of unknown origin. I find myself constantly flinging one end of the scarf back over a shoulder because it is in the way of retrieving keys from my purse or some other task that requires an unobstructive path.
I did give this the good, old 'college try' and can rest easy that, for one brief moment, or two, in my life, I was fashionable. Keep in mind that, as a child, I was always the kid whose mittens were safety-pinned to a long piece of elastic with each mitten hanging out of a coat sleeve, I was the child who wore black, rubber galoshes, and I was the child who had to wear Girl-Scout-brown and sturdy shoes.....just like Queen Elizabeth wears while walking about her Scottish estate.
It is said that as we age we revert to our childhood. Guess I've begun my age-reversal. Soon you will see me with my gloves dangling on the ends of a long piece of elastic. I'll hold off on the rubber galoshes and Girl Scout shoes. Some childhood memories are just too painful.
Ancora imparo
