I am currently in my third week of being a longer-term substitute teacher. Whenever I utter the word 'sub', most people groan, give me their condolences, and make a statement to the effect that "you wouldn't catch me dead as a sub". Those that have taught or are teaching nod their heads knowingly, understanding just what the 'gig' is like. Those who have never taught cannot imagine leading a classroom, in the first place, but there is one common thread that all share - we all had substitute teachers at some point in our school-lives and we all know what 'we' behaved like when we had a sub......and it wasn't pretty.
Yes, being a substitute teacher is akin to wearing a lime-green vest that makes you stick out in a crowd as if you have some communicable disease. News of a classroom sub spreads quickly during the course of a school day. In fact, the news is usually widely distributed among the student network well before class begins. It is always spoken in a whispered tone, "Mr.or Mrs. Smith is 'out' today and there is a sub!", often accompanied by chuckles, followed - at times - by unspoken plans to 'sink the sub'. Any person working as a substitute teacher who does not understand this phenomenon should find another line of employment.
Granted, in any classroom, there will always be the student, or group of students if the sub is lucky, that is 'there' to learn and will behave respectfully and attentively........as long as the substitute respects the students and has some identifiable level of competency. I believe that most classrooms, when relating to a substitute, will fall into three categories.....roughly a third, third, third: One third is able to remain focused, one third will go 'either way', and another third will have decided that anything goes. Even among the 'anything goes' group the division lines will fall between those who will respond to expectations of civil behavior and those who will resist most attempts to counter the desire for a party atmosphere to reign supreme.
Every day, working as a substitute, is fluid in nature. Heavens, every day as the regular classroom teacher is fluid. The smallest of factors can affect the classroom atmosphere. As yesterday proved, even an upcoming football game between rival giants can influence the barometer in the classroom. A day off coming in the near future? Students can smell this day off more than a week before the day actually comes. A major holiday break? Fugeddaboudit.
My lime-green vest is getting a workout. Fortunately, I still have my sense of humor although yesterday proved how close my brain is getting to the age level I am working with. During the course of a class the bass guitar player, a very fine young fellow who plays well, announced loudly - while waving something about - "This one is fried.". I subsequently learned that he was waving an amplifier cable that was no longer working. I burst into laughter, not because he interrupted class, not because I needed to find another working cable (which I did) but because I was thinking of my brain, which felt - at that moment - as if it had been filleted, coated with panko crumbs and lowered into a vat of bubbling oil.
I am happy to report that, as of today, my brain does not feel as if it has been filleted, but I am still finding panko crumbs among my cerebrum. I must close. It is time to don the lime-green vest.
Ancora imparo
