Our Tax Dollars Funded This?

A recent NPR article came to my attention through my Google Reader feed.  Basically it said:

Army food scientists have figured out how to control pH, moisture, and oxygen inside the packaging of a pocket sandwich so that it can last for up to two years.

I do see pluses to this type of research.  If underground shelters needed to be built for the masses, not just the existing ones for important people, then this type of food would be of paramount importance for human preservation purposes.  Foods with extended shelf-lives would need to be stocked in plentiful supplies to help keep the human race alive.  Pocket-sized sandwiches, Twinkies (the original landfill food), high sugar-content candies, Post Toastems, and kippered herring would be critical foods to have on hand.  Perhaps we humans would take a page from "Squirrel Weekly" and store nuts-in-the-shell as our bushy-tailed rodent-friends do for winter meals.  

I think it is great that our government pays Army food scientists for the research they do.  Our nation's military needs support and funding in order for our nation to remain at the top of the globe's food-chain of countries.  Go Army!

What I do not understand is why this sandwich was designed to be carried in the pocket?  Assuming that some of these sandwiches would be carried in pants' pockets, not just shirt pockets, how could a sandwich survive the process of repeated sitting or lying down?  If the bread used was dry and healthy, such as whole wheat, then repeated movements would reduce it to crumbs among whatever was used as the filler.  If the bread used had a higher moisture content like Wonder Bread (an oxymoron), then the sandwich would be flattened to credit-card thickness and would be of little use.  

I can imagine that there would be some people who might attempt to actually carry this pocket sandwich in their pockets for up to twenty-four months, either out of an attempt to do their own research or out of forgetfulness.  Either way, I predict that the outcome would be the same:  An unrecognizable, flattened form that might very well be technically edible but aesthetically disgusting.  A food-form that I am not even sure my beloved dog, Max, would eat.  


So, U.S. Army, try instead to develop foods that Americans would like to eat during their two years in an underground shelter:  Godiva chocolate, guacamole, ice cream, Butterfingers, Babe Ruths, Cheese-its, or coffee beans.  We already know that cheeses and wines do well during the aging process.  Maybe those two items are all we would need anyway?!


Ancora imparo