Our government never ceases to amaze me. Mostly, my government keeps me dazed and confused. A recent radio segment discussed various ways the U.S. government had spent money in 2011. Much like the wasteful government spending that former Wisconsin United States Senator, William Proxmire's Golden Fleece award uncovered, this report revealed that even though Proxmire left the Senate in 1989, not much has changed in how our elected politicians love to waste our precious and limited tax dollars. While none of what I will write about was an actual expenditure, my tongue-in-cheek examples will give an idea of the foolishness that pork spending accomplishes.
$150,000.00 to research new shades of nail polish on primates.
$75,000.00 for research on the New Zealand blue ant species, purportedly a species that can do simple math procedures.
$250,000.00 for surveying the number of shopping trips football widows make during the professional football season.
$99,000.00 to research whether people turn right or left at a "T" intersection.
$320,000.00 for observation of open stairways by college boys positioned under the stairs.
$119,000.00 to research whether gentlemen really do prefer blondes.
$89,000.00 to study high school "mean" girls twenty years later to see if they are still "mean".
$199,000.00 to research whether or not Bottle Bass really exist in Canada.
$42,000.00 to study whether or not rattlesnake meat really tastes like chicken.
As soon as I can find the radio broadcast that discussed the pork spending of 2011, I will compare my list to the actual list. While I would be disappointed, I would not be surprised to find at least one of my "tongue-in-cheek" examples on the list.
I think the next big government research project should be to investigate whether or not Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are real. A big test will come in less than forty-eight hours. Care to place a wager?
Happy Holly Daze.
Ancora imparo
