Sign Of Things To Come?

I've received the same troubling email twice now. The subject line is "A Place For Mom". Not being entirely internet ignorant, I have not, and will not, open up either email. After completing this posting, I will send the sender to the permanent File 13 in the internet sky.

As I indicated, I find this subject to be of a disquieting nature, wondering if my family is now plotting and planning on where to put 'dear-old-mom' in her twilight years. Furthermore, I wonder if my family thinks I might actually be either in or approaching my twilight years. Neither scenario is comforting and has made me examine my behavior, searching for clues for any declining mental acuity.

Not wanting to focus on what is slipping, I have instead decided to compile a list of ways I can prove to myself and others that I am as sharp as ever.

• I can still count to eight, as all good band directors are able.
• I can still spel.
• I can still recite all 23 letters of the alphabet.
• Fortunately, I still know the difference between bear and bare.
• I can still tell what the skirt and legs difference means on public bathroom doors.
• I still know the useless lyrics to 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's pop songs.
• I still know trombone positions and oboe fingerings.
• I still know that saluting with my middle finger is unacceptable.
• I still know that red chicken meat should not be served at the dinner table.
• Lastly, I still bake one mean cookie.
  

So, no place for good ole' mom, yet. When I begin roaming the streets in a sweater, but with no slacks, it will be time for different accommodations. Preferably something with grandchildren and puppies.

Ancora imparo