I'm waiting for the headline and subsequent article to read as follows:
GOVERNMENT LEADERS REALIZE MISTAKE!
The Give-It-Away Administration, currently in power in Washington D.C., announced in an 8 a.m. EST press release, that it had discovered the greatest dupe of modern memory: All United States' currency had been found to be substituted with play money. This included the gold at Fort Knox, which was discovered to be only construction-grade bricks covered with gold spray paint.
The Give-Aways pointed with pride to the task force, led by the Treasury Secretary, that revealed this scam. The sitting president then issued another statement, claiming to have saved the American public additional trillions of dollars in savings due to the fine work of his lackeys and underlings.
Average-Joes-On-the-Street, when questioned by clueless and hapless reporters, were at first blindsided by the revelation, which many had not heard. However, after a few words of prompting inquiries from the clueless and hapless reporters, most smiled broadly and said "Yes, we can!"
After the press release and presidential statement, looting was reportedly widespread across the nation, as rumors abounded about ordinary citizens hiding real currency that the Give-Aways had failed to locate. Reactions to the stunning news that the nation's currency had been replaced by play money ranged from one Illinoisian who said he had real money left that he would sell to the highest bidder, to a Michigander who said he had a barren factory all set up to print as much play money as the world needed, to a quiet Wyoming woman who simply straddled her horse and set off for the mountains in search of real gold.
The sitting Give-Away president concluded his statement with the news that he would leave on yet another diplomacy trip, revisiting the recent countries where avowed America-revilers lead, saying that he was sure that after one more visit, "they'll be friends forever".
For the record, I just checked and all of my real currency disappeared during the night. I am smiling, though, at the thought of all the money I saved by not having any real currency left.
Ancora imparo
