I accept that there are many imperfect products or people in the world these days that need to be re-designed, remodeled, retro-fitted or removed. For instance: cars that behave irresponsibly of their own volition, public figures that cheat or otherwise erode the public trust, pharmaceutical companies knowingly duping consumers, financial institutions or advisors misusing public or individuals' monies, corporate CEOs that operate only for Numero Uno, or silica producers whose products lump, clump or disintegrate in an unsightly manner. But, there are some Americana 'institutions' that should not be tampered with, and the hot dog is one of them.
Don't get me wrong. I am not advocating the production of a food that is inherently unsafe for those we must protect - our children - BUT, the hot dog has been eaten by millions for centuries. The European hot dog came into existence, in Frankfurt, Germany, in the late fourteen hundreds. The American hot dog appeared in the late eighteen hundreds. I cannot even begin to calculate how many hot dogs have been eaten successfully and safely since either one of those introductions.
Just this past week, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued a choking warning regarding hot dogs and suggested that warning notices be printed on every hot dog package, plus they called for a redesign of the hot dog.
REDESIGN THE HOT DOG?
First of all, American and world-wide makers of the hot dog bun must be sleepless in Seattle at the mere mention of a hot-dog makeover. A learned, early-morning television host suggested that there is already a safe design of the hot dog: bologna. Same thing, different shape. Now there is a tasty concept. Cooking preparation for a slice of bologna would be easy. Grill it, boil it or nuke it. After warming, roll it up and let the child gum it if they are a toddler. The fact that the rolled-up slice comes unfurled constantly, during meals, will simply add another dimension of frustration to the mother of a toddler. I can hardly wait to see lunch time with multiple toddlers munching away on their quasi-hot dogs. Older children could be taught to dip the rolled-up bologna slice in catsup, if they desire. School-aged children and adults could layer two bologna slices together, roll them up, place them in a traditionally-shaped hot dog bun and smother the contents with condiments. Yummy.
I'm certain every mother whose children grew up consuming hot dogs as a food group understands how their children survived this dangerous culinary culprit: CUT IT UP INTO LITTLE PIECES. This is not rocket science. Max, my beloved dog, had a trainer that understood how to prepare hot dogs for dogs. CUT THEM UP INTO LITTLE PIECES. I quickly discovered that what worked for Max worked for my kids.
Let's leave the design of the hot dog alone. Don't we have bigger health issues to combat? Malnutrition (perhaps from eating too many hot dogs), high blood pressure (perhaps from the too-high sodium content of processed meats), or high cholesterol (need I type this, too?). There are many reasons to malign the hot dog, but there is also great reason to celebrate this tasty and time-tested food.
Re-design the hot dog? Either leave it alone or create freeze-dried little chips that could be mixed into everything - cookies, ice cream, breakfast cereal, eggs, candy, vegetables, salads, fruit......even yogurt. The possibilities are endless.
Yummy.
Ancora imparo
