I have a friend who has serious self-doubt issues. There are no blatant, concrete reasons why she (Yes, it is a female.) should be so consistently down on herself, but it is a state she often finds herself in and will then confide to a few, trusted confidants, of whom I am one.
Some self-doubt is probably common to all humans. I suspect it is the rare person who never feels inadequate in some area at some time. To be sure, there are those who hide it very well. Indeed, some individuals seem to work at proclaiming their superiority to anyone, everyone, and at all times. We all know people like that. Pompous, arrogant individuals who come across with such brazen (and often ill-founded) confidence it makes you want to regurgitate your last meal.
However, I digress.
Back to those with self-doubt tendencies.
These people need those whom I call "builder-uppers". Not the building-up that comes from fake, insincere, and empty praise, but the building up that comes from empathy and a sincere caring nature. Lately, in my prehistoric Franklin planner's Leadership-series pages, there has been an entire string of quotes, from famous and/or notable people, that deal with confidence.
One recent quote was simply listed as being from "Seth".
"You must begin to trust yourself sometime. I suggest you do it now. If you do not, then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. Trust the miracle of your own being."
Another quote is attributed to Harry S. Truman.
"All my life, whenever it comes time to make a decision, I make it and forget about it, and go to work on something else.......You've got to keep going because there's always a decision just ahead of you that you've got to make.....If you make a mistake in one of these decisions, correct it by another decision, and go ahead."
Building another up does not need to be a time-consuming, all-consuming process, but rather moments of true praise - moments of recognition that another has, perhaps, bested you in some way, shape, form, skill, or knowledge. It is OK to let others be better than ourselves. One of those "others" just may be the person to build you up one day, when YOU need it most.
Ancora imparo
