It is confession time.
I'm having trouble with change. Always have and, I guess, I always will.
All my life I've had to deal with change. Much of it was externally imposed, some of it was internally imposed.
I understand that every human being has to deal with change so that realization makes me sound like a whiner, which I could be accused of being at the moment. I keep telling myself, "So, deal with it!"
I've survived the big changes. Moving from Michigan to Wisconsin. Leaving family behind. That was hard.
The death of my mother. That was and still is hard. I don't think you ever get too old to miss your mother. (Sorry, Dad. I love you and miss you, too.)
Moving from Wisconsin to Illinois. Giving my up my friends in Wisconsin and my full-time teaching job. That was gut-wrenching, or so it felt like at the time.
Having to put my dog to sleep. Tough, tough, tough.
Choosing to leave the teaching profession. Very bad decision that I am still dealing with.
So, those are the big changes and I've survived. You would think that I could get over the following little changes that make me sound like a real whiner...........................
The "look" of the new light bulbs. Giving up cable television. Thinking about canceling my newspaper subscription. Giving up my favorite brand of reisling wine - I only go through one bottle every seven days so I am not a lush, but I am fussy. Thinking about always sitting at my desk to watch television on my tiny computer screen.
I keep telling myself to grow up. No one is sick or dying. I know all this.
The world is good. These are truly tiny changes. I am a pampered, spoiled, over-indulged, self-absorbed human being.
Get over it.
Ancora imparo
