I have just coined a new word: Oxymoraction, which is derived from the word and concept of oxymoron, which, according to my Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition, is defined as a combination of contradictory or incongruous words. My new word - oxymoraction - would be defined as a combination of contradictory on incongruous actions, and I have plenty of those.
Let's take the concept and action of cleaning. There is no greater oxymoraction associated with cleaning than all of the cleaning that takes place BEFORE the cleaning lady arrives. You know what I mean. It is "Cleaning Lady" day and you are running around, picking up this, putting away that, sweeping up the crumbs from under the kitchen table so the cleaning lady can't see what your family left from all the previous meals since she had last visited, cleaning up the bathroom floors and counters......all because the cleaning lady is coming. This oxymoraction never made any sense to me and was one of the reasons, a number of years ago, that I stopped hiring a person to clean. I did so much cleaning prior to her arrival that there was truly little for her to do.
Another oxymoraction that continues to amaze, daze and confuse me is my irrepressible urge to thoroughly clean the condo upon arriving home from a time away. Theoretically speaking, if Capt. SO and I are gone, then there should be nothing getting dirty whilst we are away. But it seems that Cranky Kitty must hold parties - which I guess is where the old adage comes from: While the cat's away, the mice will play....except this is in reverse. "While the mice are away, the cat will play." There is cat litter EVERYWHERE, giant cat-hair fuzzballs, occasional stray Tootsie Rolls, and once in a while she will leave me "discarded" hairballs to clean up. Cranky Kitty can trash the place faster than "cat", otherwise known as "scat", and she leaves that, too. I even feel compelled to wash the unused towels before Capt. SO and I use them.
These are the oxymoractions that I am admitting to. The rest - and there are many more - will go with me to my grave.
Ancora imparo
