Over the past several days, my SO and I have had the pleasure of spending time with friends.....good people they are. These opportunities have given me pause to reflect on friendship, the power of it, and the need for it.
Much has been written over the centuries, actually, regarding friendship, but the bulk of the arm-chair psychology information has been written in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. We've heard from a wide variety of authors who have shared their vast knowledge with the public, regardless of their qualifications on the subject. These same authors become published, then trot their books around the talk-show circuits and drone on and on ad nauseum.
We hear about 'How to be a friend'; 'Choosing the right friends'; 'How to find friends', etc. etc. etc. (to quote from "The King and I")
Here's what I know and I don't need a book or psychologist to inform me:
Good friends come in many ages and stages.
Good friends come in many shapes and forms.
Good friends don't always think like I do.
Good friends don't care how thin or fat my wallet is.
A really good friend is one who you may not have spoken with or seen for a long period of time, maybe even years, and when you re-connect it is as if not a day has passed.
A good friend is like my favorite slippers - comfortable, warm and fuzzy.
Good friends can come into your life unexpectedly.
You will know a good friendship when you feel it.
Good friends are a gift from God.
To laugh with a friend is therapeutic.
A good friend(s) is PRICELESS.
Ancora imparo
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I Spy
With GPS device firmly in hand, Captain Geo and his scout, MapGirl led the fledgling cachers confidently through the undergrowth, nimbly sidestepping branches and avoiding rocks and large stones.
"The next cache is .38 miles. We'll take the first hard right on the trail", Capt. Geo announced. Shortly thereafter he stated, "We are within eighteen feet". MapGirl was on high alert and moved quickly ahead of the group. We all spread out, hands over our eyes to filter the sun from our vision. Just as we were beginning to search for "something obviously out of place", MapGirl exclaimed, "There it is!" and removed the camouflage preventing the object from being in plain sight. The vessel was opened, the register filled out, trinkets exchanged, container closed and returned to its original position. We then prepared to locate the next geocache.
We repeated this scenario several times over the next day and a half, achieving some successes and feeling the agony of defeat on others. Geocaches can be subject to carelessness and rarely but occasionally get moved or removed from their original locations. Still, the fun is in the hunt and challenge of following the lat/long coordinates. Even in defeat we felt a sense of satisfaction having enjoyed the surroundings and beauty of the wooded areas we traipsed through.
Captain Geo and MapGirl are superb guides. MapGirl is fearless, moving stealthily through wild areas with determination to find her cache while others sit idly at picnic tables, filling their gullets with tasty food that is, nonetheless, not good for the arteries! Captain Geo takes good care of his number one guide, assuring us that he will verify that there are no ticks on MapGirl as a result of her prairie perambulations.
Captain Geo and MapGirl.........Don't leave home without them!
Ancora imparo
"The next cache is .38 miles. We'll take the first hard right on the trail", Capt. Geo announced. Shortly thereafter he stated, "We are within eighteen feet". MapGirl was on high alert and moved quickly ahead of the group. We all spread out, hands over our eyes to filter the sun from our vision. Just as we were beginning to search for "something obviously out of place", MapGirl exclaimed, "There it is!" and removed the camouflage preventing the object from being in plain sight. The vessel was opened, the register filled out, trinkets exchanged, container closed and returned to its original position. We then prepared to locate the next geocache.
We repeated this scenario several times over the next day and a half, achieving some successes and feeling the agony of defeat on others. Geocaches can be subject to carelessness and rarely but occasionally get moved or removed from their original locations. Still, the fun is in the hunt and challenge of following the lat/long coordinates. Even in defeat we felt a sense of satisfaction having enjoyed the surroundings and beauty of the wooded areas we traipsed through.
Captain Geo and MapGirl are superb guides. MapGirl is fearless, moving stealthily through wild areas with determination to find her cache while others sit idly at picnic tables, filling their gullets with tasty food that is, nonetheless, not good for the arteries! Captain Geo takes good care of his number one guide, assuring us that he will verify that there are no ticks on MapGirl as a result of her prairie perambulations.
Captain Geo and MapGirl.........Don't leave home without them!
Ancora imparo
Monday, September 7, 2009
Life-Caching
OK, so the inference is lame but I hope that I will be able to connect the dots for you.
'Life-caching' is a take-off on 'life-coaching', which you may be familiar with. In life-coaching, you hire a person to help you with your life. Sounds simple, I guess. I've never been life-coached but I know someone who is a life coach. As I understand the process, a life coach helps remove the cobwebs from a person's life, brain, home, relationship(s), etc. Presumably, when one is finished with the life-coaching process, your life-path will be clearer and less cluttered.
This weekend, I geocached for the first time. Geocaching is an environmental sport/activity/game where you use a GPS (global positioning system) to find an exact spot whose lat/long coordinates have been identified and some vessel and/or artifact has been hidden in that exact spot. With a GPS, exact is not an exact science but accurate to within five to ten feet, depending on the sensitivity of the unit a person is using.
Geocache sites must be officially registered and maintained by the person or persons who establish the site. Each geocache site is listed online and identified by its lat/long position, as well as a description and some basic, but cryptic clues. Geocaching is highly organized and has a formal structure surrounding its every detail. All in all, I was very impressed with the procedures and guidelines set up by whatever organization promotes geocaching.
We geocached two days in a row and as I was participating, I came to the conclusion that geocaching was a metaphor for life, hence the title of today's post - 'Life-Caching". When one geocaches, you have to follow instructions, play well with others, cooperate with others, and share with others. In order to meet your goal, you must travel paths you have not previously traveled, you must have clear vision, you must see the forest for the trees, think globally, look through your own 'wide-angle lens', persevere, think creatively, and watch for unusual landmarks toward the end of your journey as thinking outside of the box is necessary to find the prize.
Is that not a metaphor for the way we move through our life stages? For moi, after geocaching, I might have had a few cobwebs on my body and clothing, but there were many fewer cobwebs in my brain. My body soaked up the sun and fresh air infused energy into my lungs and psyche. The picnic lunches that I ate out-of-doors were ordinary but never tasted better and the company I was keeping made me feel as if I was a kid again!
'Life-Caching' is an inexpensive way to find your zen and get exercise at the same time. It doesn't get any better than that!
Ancora imparo
'Life-caching' is a take-off on 'life-coaching', which you may be familiar with. In life-coaching, you hire a person to help you with your life. Sounds simple, I guess. I've never been life-coached but I know someone who is a life coach. As I understand the process, a life coach helps remove the cobwebs from a person's life, brain, home, relationship(s), etc. Presumably, when one is finished with the life-coaching process, your life-path will be clearer and less cluttered.
This weekend, I geocached for the first time. Geocaching is an environmental sport/activity/game where you use a GPS (global positioning system) to find an exact spot whose lat/long coordinates have been identified and some vessel and/or artifact has been hidden in that exact spot. With a GPS, exact is not an exact science but accurate to within five to ten feet, depending on the sensitivity of the unit a person is using.
Geocache sites must be officially registered and maintained by the person or persons who establish the site. Each geocache site is listed online and identified by its lat/long position, as well as a description and some basic, but cryptic clues. Geocaching is highly organized and has a formal structure surrounding its every detail. All in all, I was very impressed with the procedures and guidelines set up by whatever organization promotes geocaching.
We geocached two days in a row and as I was participating, I came to the conclusion that geocaching was a metaphor for life, hence the title of today's post - 'Life-Caching". When one geocaches, you have to follow instructions, play well with others, cooperate with others, and share with others. In order to meet your goal, you must travel paths you have not previously traveled, you must have clear vision, you must see the forest for the trees, think globally, look through your own 'wide-angle lens', persevere, think creatively, and watch for unusual landmarks toward the end of your journey as thinking outside of the box is necessary to find the prize.
Is that not a metaphor for the way we move through our life stages? For moi, after geocaching, I might have had a few cobwebs on my body and clothing, but there were many fewer cobwebs in my brain. My body soaked up the sun and fresh air infused energy into my lungs and psyche. The picnic lunches that I ate out-of-doors were ordinary but never tasted better and the company I was keeping made me feel as if I was a kid again!
'Life-Caching' is an inexpensive way to find your zen and get exercise at the same time. It doesn't get any better than that!
Ancora imparo
Friday, September 4, 2009
Race To End All Races
The water was slightly rippled, with a gentle southeasterly breeze, just perfect for the beginning of September. No bugs and no humidity. Just being on the water should have been reward enough without having to manufacture any feelings of competitiveness. Such was not the mindset of Captain Al.
She was enjoying just being on the water, the feeling of infinite peace that often eluded her, always replaced instead by the urge to constantly accomplish. He was left behind to do whatever he pleased. She assumed she would have solitude, interacting only with the birds, the tiny waves, and the sun. She moved quietly, being one with the water. Suddenly, in her peripheral vision, she sensed and then finally saw movement to her right. Not expecting any company, her neck strained to see what was impinging on her space.
What she saw gave her a start, for there he was, in the dinghy, moving up quickly on her starboard side. He smiled and waved and greeted her with a nonchalance that was, at once, suspect. She casually asked him what he was up to and he said he was simply 'accompanying' her on the water.
Alas, she knew better and mentally geared up for what she knew was in store. Gathering her mental reserve, she bore down with all the strength she could muster and plied the paddles firmly in the water, powerfully stroking with each arm. He knew that she knew what he was up to and he tried his best to move the dinghy but the little motor was no match for the Hurricane. She was moving with such velocity that bugs flew into her teeth and her lips were pulled away from her teeth. The dinghy was no match for the Hurricane kayak, aptly named for its extreme speed.
Score one for the First Mate, if only in her imagination.
Ancora imparo
She was enjoying just being on the water, the feeling of infinite peace that often eluded her, always replaced instead by the urge to constantly accomplish. He was left behind to do whatever he pleased. She assumed she would have solitude, interacting only with the birds, the tiny waves, and the sun. She moved quietly, being one with the water. Suddenly, in her peripheral vision, she sensed and then finally saw movement to her right. Not expecting any company, her neck strained to see what was impinging on her space.
What she saw gave her a start, for there he was, in the dinghy, moving up quickly on her starboard side. He smiled and waved and greeted her with a nonchalance that was, at once, suspect. She casually asked him what he was up to and he said he was simply 'accompanying' her on the water.
Alas, she knew better and mentally geared up for what she knew was in store. Gathering her mental reserve, she bore down with all the strength she could muster and plied the paddles firmly in the water, powerfully stroking with each arm. He knew that she knew what he was up to and he tried his best to move the dinghy but the little motor was no match for the Hurricane. She was moving with such velocity that bugs flew into her teeth and her lips were pulled away from her teeth. The dinghy was no match for the Hurricane kayak, aptly named for its extreme speed.
Score one for the First Mate, if only in her imagination.
Ancora imparo
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Glass Ceilings
The recent announcement that Charles Gibson (ABC evening news anchor) will retire at the end of this year and that his replacement will be Diane Sawyer (Good Morning America co-host) came as a pleasant surprise to me this morning. What didn't surprise me was the talk about her 'breaking the glass ceiling' in the television journalism world. I wasn't surprised but I was disappointed.
Please do not misunderstand me. That 'glass ceiling' does exist, but it comes in different forms in differing work environments. It is time put aside the term and the corresponding attitudes that accompany the 'glass ceiling'.
I can personally attest to the glass ceiling. I first felt it in 1968 when I sat before my advisor at a Big-10 University. My male advisor tried his best to steer me to Music Therapy, not Instrumental Music Education, where I would be a FEMALE band director. FEMALE band directors were very rare in the 1960's......and '70's.....and '80's....and 90's....get the idea? When I did my student teaching in the fall of 1971, I was supposed to spend equal weeks at the high school as well as the junior high. Of course, both directors were males. The junior high director was a wonderful, patient and skilled educator who taught me so much and with whom I kept in touch until his death in the early 2000's. The high school director was the typical male band director - one who felt that FEMALES had no business with a baton in their hand. (As an aside, at my Big-10 University, FEMALES were not allowed to be in the marching band until the fall of 1972, after my graduation.) So the fact that the high school band director, with whom I was supposed to student teach, refused to allow me in his classroom or on the athletic field with the marching band, wasn't an unusual attitude for the time.
Was I furious? Of course.
Over the years, in my field of education, tiny changes did occur. More women were accepted as elementary directors by the male-dominated field, a few more were seen in the middle school/junior high arena, but high school? Forget it.
I felt and saw the disapproval at music festivals where, in the directors' lounges, the tables were full of men - only. Women, if they ever came into the directors' lounges, sat at their own table. I finally became tired of this segregation and started sitting at the 'guys' tables, where I would be patently ignored. If I dared to speak, no man would acknowledge that I spoke at all. I would come home fussing and fuming to my family, as they can attest. Never mind that my students fared just as well, if not better, than my male counterparts. I was a female. A stranger in a strange land.
Katie Couric has forged a path for Diane Sawyer, hopefully making her less of a pundit and critical target than Couric has been. Good is good, great is great, mediocre is mediocre, and bad is bad.......regardless of gender. I say that we should send the ceiling to recycling for women and men and recognize quality. Period.
Ancora imparo
Please do not misunderstand me. That 'glass ceiling' does exist, but it comes in different forms in differing work environments. It is time put aside the term and the corresponding attitudes that accompany the 'glass ceiling'.
I can personally attest to the glass ceiling. I first felt it in 1968 when I sat before my advisor at a Big-10 University. My male advisor tried his best to steer me to Music Therapy, not Instrumental Music Education, where I would be a FEMALE band director. FEMALE band directors were very rare in the 1960's......and '70's.....and '80's....and 90's....get the idea? When I did my student teaching in the fall of 1971, I was supposed to spend equal weeks at the high school as well as the junior high. Of course, both directors were males. The junior high director was a wonderful, patient and skilled educator who taught me so much and with whom I kept in touch until his death in the early 2000's. The high school director was the typical male band director - one who felt that FEMALES had no business with a baton in their hand. (As an aside, at my Big-10 University, FEMALES were not allowed to be in the marching band until the fall of 1972, after my graduation.) So the fact that the high school band director, with whom I was supposed to student teach, refused to allow me in his classroom or on the athletic field with the marching band, wasn't an unusual attitude for the time.
Was I furious? Of course.
Over the years, in my field of education, tiny changes did occur. More women were accepted as elementary directors by the male-dominated field, a few more were seen in the middle school/junior high arena, but high school? Forget it.
I felt and saw the disapproval at music festivals where, in the directors' lounges, the tables were full of men - only. Women, if they ever came into the directors' lounges, sat at their own table. I finally became tired of this segregation and started sitting at the 'guys' tables, where I would be patently ignored. If I dared to speak, no man would acknowledge that I spoke at all. I would come home fussing and fuming to my family, as they can attest. Never mind that my students fared just as well, if not better, than my male counterparts. I was a female. A stranger in a strange land.
Katie Couric has forged a path for Diane Sawyer, hopefully making her less of a pundit and critical target than Couric has been. Good is good, great is great, mediocre is mediocre, and bad is bad.......regardless of gender. I say that we should send the ceiling to recycling for women and men and recognize quality. Period.
Ancora imparo
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What Is An Empath?
Do you know what an empath is?
It is a term that I was not familiar with until recently, in yet another discussion, the word was used and someone asked, "What is an empath?" We received a rather vague definition which made me come home and do some online research as to what an empath is.
I discovered that being called an empath is a positive descriptor. Empath, of course, comes from empathy, which, in very general terms, is the ability to feel what another human is feeling. Trite description but it gets the idea across, I hope.
Empaths would be people who instinctively feel another's pain, hurt, humiliation, fear, rejection, etc. I've left out the feeling of anger because anger is usually outwardly manifested and it doesn't take a so-called 'rocket scientist' to figure out when another person is angry. There are far more subtle feelings that could be easily overlooked that an empath would sense. Some empaths don't even need to see the other person to decipher the feelings being conveyed via the voice. Empaths are instinctively in tune with others, probably, at times, to their own detriment.
Do you know anyone who is an empath? I believe that many empaths do not even realize the gift that they possess......the gift to listen, hear, feel and process what a fellow human is saying or not saying. Is it perhaps what we do not verbalize that is more reflective than the words we utter?
I have to ponder this.
Ancora imparo
It is a term that I was not familiar with until recently, in yet another discussion, the word was used and someone asked, "What is an empath?" We received a rather vague definition which made me come home and do some online research as to what an empath is.
I discovered that being called an empath is a positive descriptor. Empath, of course, comes from empathy, which, in very general terms, is the ability to feel what another human is feeling. Trite description but it gets the idea across, I hope.
Empaths would be people who instinctively feel another's pain, hurt, humiliation, fear, rejection, etc. I've left out the feeling of anger because anger is usually outwardly manifested and it doesn't take a so-called 'rocket scientist' to figure out when another person is angry. There are far more subtle feelings that could be easily overlooked that an empath would sense. Some empaths don't even need to see the other person to decipher the feelings being conveyed via the voice. Empaths are instinctively in tune with others, probably, at times, to their own detriment.
Do you know anyone who is an empath? I believe that many empaths do not even realize the gift that they possess......the gift to listen, hear, feel and process what a fellow human is saying or not saying. Is it perhaps what we do not verbalize that is more reflective than the words we utter?
I have to ponder this.
Ancora imparo
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Leadership
The conversation revolved around leaders and morphed from local leaders to employers to church leaders to national leaders. No stone was left unturned and the opinions were as varied as the ages, stages, and political leanings.
I came away with my mind churning regarding leadership. What kind of leader was I and what did I want and expect from a leader? I asked myself if leadership needs to take on differing forms to change with the age and stage of the group? Are there universal leadership qualities that transcend the lines of every type of group? Are leaders born or made or both?
I can pick up a newspaper on any given day and read either an article, an syndicated op-ed piece or a letter to the editor that involves aspects of leadership. Some leaders have highly questionable pasts and backgrounds, yet our society seeks their opinions and seems to place a high value on their words and follows their every action. Why? For every leader and leadership style, I can find followers and detractors. An ineffective leader, in my opinion, may be your ideal leader.
Does success equal leadership?
Then my question became, "What is success?" That topic would find as many diverse thoughts and ideas as the conversation about leadership.
As you can see, my head is spinning with questions but this is one quandary that I will relish thinking through. I'm always seeking answers to life's perplexing questions, Prairie-Home- Companion style and will welcome your thoughts, ideas and opinions. Perhaps what I need is more catsup.
As the blog is titled: Still I am learning.
Ancora imparo
I came away with my mind churning regarding leadership. What kind of leader was I and what did I want and expect from a leader? I asked myself if leadership needs to take on differing forms to change with the age and stage of the group? Are there universal leadership qualities that transcend the lines of every type of group? Are leaders born or made or both?
I can pick up a newspaper on any given day and read either an article, an syndicated op-ed piece or a letter to the editor that involves aspects of leadership. Some leaders have highly questionable pasts and backgrounds, yet our society seeks their opinions and seems to place a high value on their words and follows their every action. Why? For every leader and leadership style, I can find followers and detractors. An ineffective leader, in my opinion, may be your ideal leader.
Does success equal leadership?
Then my question became, "What is success?" That topic would find as many diverse thoughts and ideas as the conversation about leadership.
As you can see, my head is spinning with questions but this is one quandary that I will relish thinking through. I'm always seeking answers to life's perplexing questions, Prairie-Home- Companion style and will welcome your thoughts, ideas and opinions. Perhaps what I need is more catsup.
As the blog is titled: Still I am learning.
Ancora imparo
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