Tent-ative

Tents popped into my head today......for no apparent reason other than I've been under one recently and I know people who slept in one last night. Since I am uncertain about any meaning to the thoughts that travel in and out of my brain, I thought I'd run with this 'tent' idea and see where my fingers on the keyboard took me.

Actually, multiple images of 'tents' exploded onto the cinematic screen of my imagination. Tents that you camp in, the 'tent' cities that crop up - often in areas of nature-made disasters, tent dresses from the 1960's, tent caterpillars, tent sales, under the 'big' tent circuses, and the big tents you rent for events.

Since my SO and I have been long-time tent campers, the very first image I have of a tent is one on a campsite in a state park. Our family had many years of wonderful experiences tent camping and we still combine, as a family, to tent camp once a year. Well, our kids do. My SO and I sort of cheat and bring our floating 'tent' along, which no one seems to mind. Tenting brings back memories of when we could eat anything, including hot dogs, ground round burgers, grilled Spam, steaks, pizza pies made in pie irons, somemores and the ultimate cuisine of outdoor camping......bacon and eggs fried in bacon grease. Makes my mouth water just thinking about all that now-forbidden food.

I don't know why the not-so-stylish tent dresses of the 1960's popped out from my memory box but they did. Perhaps it was because they were so easy to sew and, back then, I sewed almost everything I wore. I even sewed my wedding dress in my dorm room during a finals week.

Tent sales usually mean price reductions, which are always fun to scope out. Circus 'big tents' have a magical and mystical lure to them, probably for the joy of seeing your children experience a circus first-hand. I remember the one circus our children went to see, almost in our backyard, and they talked about it for years afterward.

Tent caterpillars are another matter.....an ecological and entomological problem/nuisance that is difficult to control and eliminate. These tents are easy to spot and can almost completely take over certain trees and bushes.

Tent cities are never a positive sign for those living in them. The occupants are most certainly there under duress and the influence of the unfortunate circumstances that drove them from their homes to begin with. The one-hundred-eighty-degree turn from a tent city is that of the event-tent that is rented for some special occasion, such as a wedding reception. The tent-event that stands out in my mind is one that I attended, in December, for a corporate holiday party. Guests were greeted at the door of the hosts' spacious Chicago home, coats were taken, and then ushered through the home to this huge tent literally attached to the patio doors, complete with indoor heaters everywhere. While snow was swirling outside, we were toasty warm, surrounded by glitter and glam, oblivious to the fact that a major December snowstorm was happening as we partied.

I'll stop now and you can escape the 'tent-acular' nature of this posting.

Ancora imparo

Overwhelmed or Underjoyed?

I seldom feel an overpowering sense of overwhelming defeat. To be sure, like most humans, there have been times in my life when I felt overwhelmed, usually regarding some relatively inane event like a big concert, a party, or my masters' project. Everything is relative and I realize that feeling overwhelmed about concerts, parties, and projects pales in comparison to death, disease, and poor health. The healthy human mind can, over time, process seemingly overwhelming feelings with order and organization to the point where the individual can ride the tidal wave to sense and sensibility, thereby restoring an atmosphere of comparative peace and inner harmony.

Zen.

At the moment, my sense of feeling overwhelmed is well, overwhelming. No, this will not be a kiss-and-tell or a point-and-shoot post, but I am going to give voice to a growing personal sense of dis-ease and I do not believe that I am alone.

Oddly enough, my desire to remain up-to-date and connected to the news of the world is what is fueling my mounting discontent and overpowering notion that somehow, my foundation feels as if it is built on sinking sand.

I've written about my disillusionment with the health-care system and the unheard and ignored plight of those of us unlucky enough to have chosen to provide ourselves with self-insurance. An umbrella of fear hangs over our heads on a regular basis with absolutely NO ONE who cares one whit that our insurance can be canceled with little, if any, recourse or that our rates can be raised at will, once again with little, if any, recourse. It is, as if, we (this is a corporate 'we') deserve to be punished simply because we have chosen to include a monthly payment in our budgets for health insurance. Add to that the huge catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico.......an environmental and wildlife tragedy of epic proportions, with hourly and daily media reminders, warnings, predictions and alarms. My sense of rage at the ruination of untold and under-estimated habitats, environments, and livelihoods grows exponentially each day. The final insult-to-injury came in the local newspaper's lead story about the lack of solvency of our fine state's pension system.......one that I had been counting on to provide a possible health insurance solution for at least myself.

Overload.

Dashed hopes, mounting finality..........it is almost more than my psyche can process and, to repeat myself, I do not think I am alone. In fact, I know I am not alone in this morass that I feel is surrounding me/us. Overwhelmed or underjoyed - the effect is the same.

There is only one place I can go to escape and that is on my knees. I think my callouses will be thick.

Ancora imparo

What Would You Say?

I was part of a conversation, today, about what advice people would give high school graduates. When asked, I replied, "I'd have to think about that."

Well, I did and here is what I'd say:

• Practice kindness. There's too little of it in our society.
• Take responsibility. Don't point the finger at another or in another direction.
• If you screw up, admit it, then fix it. Don't wait for someone else to fix your mess.
• 'Thank you' and 'You're welcome' will take you far.
• Learn how to spell.
• If you absolutely cannot spell, learn how to use a dictionary.
• Shower every day. The world will appreciate it.
• If you said you would do it, do it.
• If you can't do it, the sooner you let someone know, the better.
• When you are with someone you care about, turn your ringer off. Better yet, turn off your phone.
• Surprisingly, the other shoppers in stores do not care one whit about your end of a phone conversation.
• When using a cart in any store, follow the rules of the road.
  
• Don't park your cart in the middle of an aisle and expect others to wait while you decide what size peanut butter to buy.
• Pick up after yourself in the workplace, or any place, for that matter. Your mother will not always be by your side.
• Don't say, "Let's do lunch.", unless you mean it.
• If you don't have anything constructive to say, be quiet.
• If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.
• Don't be a slacker. Carry your share of the load.
  
• Lastly, never, ever, waste the time of a volunteer.

I'm curious what advice you would give today's graduates. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this!

Ancora imparo

Sorely Tested

A few days ago, I wrote about succumbing to the 'Call of the Cheese-Its". The loss of will-power was temporarily devastating to my sense of pride and self-esteem, but I recovered quickly. After all, isn't it the dream of every Cheese-Its lover to be face-to-face with the fat-laden/buttery/cheesy delight?

Feeling sufficiently chagrined after a good bout of self-chastisement, I entered the same lounge yesterday and experienced nary a twinge of desire, even though faced with three Cheese-It boxes. I left with a great sense of empowerment and personal satisfaction that I was able to ignore the 'Call of the Cheese-Its'.

Segue to today.

Lunchtime came and I found myself alone in the lounge. The other, grade-level staff had taken their students to a local park to blow off end-of-the-year steam and pent-up energy. I sat down at the table, absent-mindedly removing items from my lunch box. I happened to look up, and what was right in front of me, before my very eyes......not more than three or four inches away.......a box of Cheese-Its. "This is not fair!", exclaimed I to myself. "What a terrible fate to befall me and test my resolve!"

I successfully avoided eating any Cheese-Its today, but it was difficult. I had to keep my gaze lowered and avert my eyes from 'the box'. After a short while, I simply had to push the box as far down the table as I could. Still it called to me but I WAS STRONG. I kept telling myself, "You are stronger than that box of Cheese-Its........you know you are!"

I passed the test today but will I be able to resist the next time temptation comes a-callin'?

Ancora imparo

The Final Daze

Regular readers of this blog may remember that I had frequently mentioned the Holly Daze in December postings. December is a time of year when sleep and common sense are often in short supply.

The final days (daze) of a school year are similar, in nature. Everyone is giddy with excitement, laughter abounds, smiles run from ear to ear, summer vacation plans are being discussed, rooms are being cleaned, books are being scurried to the librarian, squirrely bodies are brimming with excessive and unnatural energy, normally shy and retiring individuals seem light-hearted, while the depressed and withdrawn people of the world have a more positive facial countenance........and that is just the faculty.

You should see the students.

Happy daze are here again.

Ancora imparo

Saying Goodbye

Two instances of 'saying goodbye' came to the forefront today.

My pastor always writes an article in our church's monthly newsletter and this month's article was about saying goodbye. In less than two weeks, he and his wife will leave our congregation after an eleven-year pastorate. He discussed varying ways to say 'adieu' and the many reactions he has experienced as people and groups have bid him farewell.

The other instance of 'saying goodbye' came through a friend of my SO. The man has traveled into the area from another state and one of the 'things' he wanted to do, while here, was to visit a former co-worker who is suffering from an incurable disease and has not been given long to live. This friend of my SO's came into town but then decided he was not able to see his old friend in his current condition. He said he simply couldn't bring himself to 'say goodbye'.

Why is saying 'farewell' so difficult? Perhaps it is because, although we pledge to keep in touch, we instinctively realize that the reality is we will more than likely never see the other person again. No matter the promises we make, life does get in the way and other people and activities fill our lives in our new surroundings. Likewise for those we leave behind. Our place in our friends' hearts and minds becomes filled with fresh acquaintances as well.

It is a cycle of life, much like birth and death. We may feel as if we are irreplaceable but the reality is that we are not. We hopefully remain in the memories of those we leave behind but even memories dim from the passage of time.

There is a bittersweet quality to the word 'goodbye', whereas 'until we meet again' at least presents hope. I like that concept better. It is more comforting to think of being able to see someone again than to face the reality of never being in the presence of that friend or loved once more.

Until we meet again (or the next blog posting),

Ancora imparo

Something Came Over Me

This is a public confession. I'm reasoning perhaps, if I make a public pronouncement that I 'done wrong', it will serve to somehow mitigate the circumstance I found myself in today.

It was about three o'clock, p.m. My initial intent was to return two remotes to the media room and then perambulate down to a room where I would turn in my two dollars towards a going-away luncheon. At this point, my intentions seemed pure. Little did I know that once I turned the last corner, Satan's tempters would begin their siren song - directed at moi!

I rounded the corner toward the teacher's room to turn in the money and I saw the door to the staff lounge, where earlier a farewell luncheon - ala Bon Voyage theme - had been held. During lunch, I ate the food I had prepared and brought with me, munching only on some extra forbidden treats. "Not too many", I told myself at lunch, and I stayed true to my self-entreaty.

However, at three o'clock p.m., with my resolve and will power severely depleted and, after dropping off the two dollars, I felt drawn to the lounge like a moth to a flame. I entered the teachers' lounge and there it was, still on the small side-table. Not a large box, 'orange-ish' in color, filled with a dangerous, possibly-life-threatening snack......yet I was not able to resist the strong pull to walk towards the box.

With hands shaking, legs trembling, breath shallow and rapid, I took a napkin, folded it out, and reached for the box. My fingers quickly found the edges and a firm grasp took hold of the box. My other hand easily located the opening of the box top and eager fingers slid open the cardboard. Next came the inner pouch, which gave way with little resistance, only to reveal the contents. Tipping the box, out tumbled about two dozen. I know that I should have stopped pouring at once but I found I was defenseless at the sight of those little orange-ish squares.

Yes, this afternoon, I ate two dozen Cheese-Its. I haven't eaten Cheese-Its since the Holly Daze and I am certain my cholesterol levels will reflect my dietary indiscretion.

There you have it. I've acknowledged my sin for today. Satan grabbed hold of my taste buds and gave me my 'devil-may-care' attitude.

Let's all pray that the box is gone by tomorrow. I am weak in the presence of Cheese-Its.

Ancora imparo