I'm short. Sometimes my vertical status matches my temperament and my supply of common sense as well. Short people have been the brunt of jokes for centuries. I know Napoleon Bonaparte was short in stature and, I believe that Nero might have been also. Short people are frequent joke topics for stand-up comics, although perhaps less so since our society became so litigious. There is a famous song about short people, even entitled "Short People". The bi-line on this song is: "Short people got no reason to live." I have a tall friend who is always teasing me, saying, "Stand up."
I don't think there is a segment of our economy that understands nor properly targets 'short people'. The furniture industry certainly does not employ a single short person on any staff. As every vertically-challenged person can tell you or demonstrate, sofas and chairs are routinely designed with taller people in mind. If I sit down on ninety-five percent of furniture made today and attempt to place my feel flat on the floor, my rear-end will have slid a good six to ten inches forward - away from where the back meets the seat. If I place my rear-end up against where the back meets the seat, my legs will be in a perfect horizontal position with the floor. I look like Lily Tomlin's character "Edith Ann" when she sat in the giant rocking chair.
Grocery stores are not made for short people, either. I routinely have to climb on lower shelves or ask a taller person for assistance in order to reach an item on a top shelf. I'm still pretty good at jumping to grab a top-shelf item if it is even with the edge, but if the item has been shoved back from the edge of the shelf, forget it.
The automotive industry doesn't even recognize that short people exist. In order to comfortably reach the gas or brake pedals, I must position my driver's seat so close to the steering wheel that if my air bag ever inflates, I'm toast.
What started me on my tirade this morning was an advertisement for 'petite-wear' from a national clothing store. The garment industry must think that the only people who purchase clothing are at least five feet, seven inches tall and weigh one hundred and ten pounds or less. Even in petite lines, sleeve lengths can be ludicrously long and pant or skirt lengths can be laughingly disproportionate, too. The flyer I received featured models supposedly wearing petite-sized clothing with prints so large, a beached whale would look small in comparison.
So, to all the tall humans reading this that have the audacity to feel self-conscious about their height, whinest not, I say unto you.
I'm thankful that you are taller than I for you will be the one that I approach at the supermarket and say, "Pardon me. May I borrow your height for a moment?"
Tomorrow I'll blog about the benefits of being short. Until then, my thoughts will be in short supply.
Ancora imparo
