Purple Napkin Particle-Proliferation Problem

Recently, I shared a story with readers about my 'purple napkin particle- proliferation problem'. As a former educator, I'd like today's posting to serve as a public service warning to others who are in charge of the laundry service in their homes.

Ancora imparo's Public Service Announcement Number One:
(I pray there will be no need for Number Two.)

Caution should be used when gathering soiled linens or clothing to be placed into a top-loading washing machine. (Owners of front-loading washing machines ought not to need this warning because if the 'purple napkin particle-proliferation problem' happens to you then you have bigger issues confronting you......perhaps the need to lay off the sauce or other controlled substances.) If the surface of the adjoining clothes dryer is to be used as a resting place for items not laundry-related, then care must be taken to clear same area before sliding soiled clothing or linens from dryer top into washing machine drum. Constant vigilance must be observed to prevent foreign objects from entering into washing machine drum. However, in the event that caution is not heeded and foreign objects (such as forty purple, paper napkins) do find their way into the washing machine - unnoticed until the wash cycle is completed, the following steps may be necessary to reverse the effect of the 'purple napkin particle-proliferation problem':

1. Crying and muttering unprintable words at the washing machine have not been found to be effective.
2. Care should be taken when removing articles of wet clothing or linens covered with thousands of tiny pieces of shredded, colored paper.
3. If care is not taken in the removal of the wet laundry load, you will need a vacuum sweeper with an empty bag to clear away the mess.
   
4. Waiting until the thousands of wet, tiny pieces of shredded, colored paper have dried only exacerbates the problem when the air from the furnace blows the thousands of wet, tiny pieces of shredded, colored paper everywhere.
5. You must be prepared for the appearance of your washing machine tub, which will be totally covered in whatever color your formerly dry napkins looked like.
   
6. You will need to run one, perhaps two cycles of plain water through your washing machine in order to clear the tub of the thousands of wet, tiny pieces of shredded, colored paper.
7. New towels unfortunate enough to have accompanied the colored napkins on their laundry journey will never look the same.
8. When attempting to dry the ill-fated laundry load, your lint trap will fill within the first five minutes and then need to checked and emptied every ten minutes or so to prevent a dryer-fire.
9. Subsequent dryer loads will reveal large chunks of shredded, colored paper that seem to appear from nowhere.
   
10. After approximately ten more dryer loads, your lint trap will be free of shredded, colored paper.
    

Failure to heed this Ancora imparo Public Service Announcement Number One may result in the need for talk therapy, drug therapy or both.

Ancora imparo