The longer I live the more I become convinced that we humans never outgrow our need for a mother.
Daddies, do not get me wrong, here. You are vitally important, too. That is why God made the requirement that it takes both a man's and a woman's contribution to create life. Fathers' roles cannot be understated nor underestimated, but the role of a mother might be in a slightly different category.
"Where does this undocumented and un-researched observation come from?" you may ask.
Working with larger groups of people and my own experience.
Before you leave me and my train of thought, allow me to explain.
From the perspective of working with groups, I am convinced that both men and women need/enjoy/crave some sort of mothering. Not smothering, not nagging, not hovering - just some "mother-henning", if you will. And, no, most men do not want or need mothering. But as co-ed and single-gender groups go, perhaps nurturing is a better term, although I do believe that nurturing is closely aligned with mothering.
Doesn't almost everyone, from somewhere deep inside our souls and psyches, respond to the warm feeling that arises when we realize that someone else cares for us? The psychology of a group is not immune from needing to feel wanted and appreciated and isn't that one of the traits of mothering? (Fathering, too!) Think about where the term "mother hen" comes from. The instinct of a mother hen, goose, duck, loon, other water fowl, etc. to tuck her young ones under her wings to protect them from danger, the elements, or predators.
From a personal perspective, I am discovering that I am not too old to miss my mother, as evidenced recently after a particularly long string of rough days, when I informed poor Capt. SO that I really wanted my mother and Max, neither of which are available any more for comforting moi. This recent remark was not my first "I-miss-my-mother!" wail nor will it probably be my last but it did make me sit up and take notice of the strong feeling that comes from missing one's mother.
So, what did I just say? That mothering is a naturally occurring human need, regardless of gender, number or age AND that having a dog or a puppy can be a suitable substitute for missing one's mother.
Yes, I just said it and I mean it. I believe I've mentioned this before.
Ancora imparo
Friday, October 19, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Kansas City, There I Went
"I'm goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City, Here I Come!"
That is what I said on Wednesday morning as I prepared to take a three-day, eleven-hundred mile round-trip journey, with seven other people. Two vehicles of four-each made the trip - safely, I might add thankfully. Our two drivers were skillful, especially so when navigating complicated interstate highway exchanges in larger cities along the way. Even driving in the greater KC metro and suburban areas was non-eventful for these two drivers.
Upon arrival at our hotel, we checked in and checked out our digs for the two-night stay. I was assigned to a room with two other women and it had been years since I shared a room with anyone other than immediate family members. "This,", thought I to myself, "will be quite the adventure!" The rooming adventure turned to be quite the non-event, as we spent very little time in our respective rooms and when we did, my two "room-mates" read with their Nooks and I played with my phone. Never once did we turn on either one of two televisions.
The conference we attended was held at the largest Methodist church in the United States. Quite a distinction and the building(s!) and grounds were impressive, if in nothing else other than the scope of the property. (Over seven-thousand people worship there each week. They have three other campuses.) This congregation holds this leadership conference each year and the level of organization, preparation and execution was impressive, to say the least. It was staffed by maybe hundreds of volunteers, all armed with the necessary information and a genuine smile, to boot! And if I thought the volunteers were helpful and people-oriented, the staff was even more so. Each break-out session I attended was closed by words from the staff member leading it, with something to the effect - "You have my email and phone number. Do not hesitate to call or email me. I can give you more materials if you need them or can explain in more detail if you desire."
I came away with more good ideas than I can ever implement in my lifetime so my challenge will be to filter through what I gleaned and get to the imminently germane ideas that I might want to implement. I left feeling somewhat inadequate after witnessing great skill levels in areas that I will never be skilled in. This feeling was not unexpected as this is the way I have always felt after leaving professional conferences. There is always so much more to learn.
To quote my favorite line from the movie, "Smokey and the Bandit",
"We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there......"
I'd better get started!
Ancora imparo
That is what I said on Wednesday morning as I prepared to take a three-day, eleven-hundred mile round-trip journey, with seven other people. Two vehicles of four-each made the trip - safely, I might add thankfully. Our two drivers were skillful, especially so when navigating complicated interstate highway exchanges in larger cities along the way. Even driving in the greater KC metro and suburban areas was non-eventful for these two drivers.
Upon arrival at our hotel, we checked in and checked out our digs for the two-night stay. I was assigned to a room with two other women and it had been years since I shared a room with anyone other than immediate family members. "This,", thought I to myself, "will be quite the adventure!" The rooming adventure turned to be quite the non-event, as we spent very little time in our respective rooms and when we did, my two "room-mates" read with their Nooks and I played with my phone. Never once did we turn on either one of two televisions.
The conference we attended was held at the largest Methodist church in the United States. Quite a distinction and the building(s!) and grounds were impressive, if in nothing else other than the scope of the property. (Over seven-thousand people worship there each week. They have three other campuses.) This congregation holds this leadership conference each year and the level of organization, preparation and execution was impressive, to say the least. It was staffed by maybe hundreds of volunteers, all armed with the necessary information and a genuine smile, to boot! And if I thought the volunteers were helpful and people-oriented, the staff was even more so. Each break-out session I attended was closed by words from the staff member leading it, with something to the effect - "You have my email and phone number. Do not hesitate to call or email me. I can give you more materials if you need them or can explain in more detail if you desire."
I came away with more good ideas than I can ever implement in my lifetime so my challenge will be to filter through what I gleaned and get to the imminently germane ideas that I might want to implement. I left feeling somewhat inadequate after witnessing great skill levels in areas that I will never be skilled in. This feeling was not unexpected as this is the way I have always felt after leaving professional conferences. There is always so much more to learn.
To quote my favorite line from the movie, "Smokey and the Bandit",
"We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there......"
I'd better get started!
Ancora imparo
Monday, October 1, 2012
Sometimes......
I actually just heard a line on a television show that inspired me. It was something to the effect that we won't have answers so we live with the questions.
Do you ever have questions? I do - daily.
Sometimes I think I question too much. Sometimes I overthink things, situations, dilemmas, problems. Sometimes my questioning morphs into worrying - and that's not good.
Sometimes I wish I could just shut off the crawl line that runs through my brain on an almost constant display. Do this. Do that. Check on this. Check on that. Call this person. Jot this thought down on paper. Don't forget to check this list. Don't forget to check that list. I really appreciate many of the features of my phone but I think I over-use the Note feature. I'm up to 65 notes - most of which I check at least once a week. Two or three of the notes get updated daily.
I think I'm addicted to notes.
I think I dislike unanswered questions so much I spend far too much time trying to come with answers and solutions.
I just read about a local teacher who has been invited to be on a team that re-writes AP tests. I feel like every day I re-write a test - hence, I never get close to the answer because I constantly change the questions.
I wonder what will become of me if I ever achieve "Supreme-answer level"? Will I be satisfied or will I simply compose a new set of questions?
It is no wonder I do not sleep well. Sometimes I feel like my brain competes in cerebral Olympics every night. I wonder why?
Ah..............a new question. I rest my case.
Ancora imparo
Do you ever have questions? I do - daily.
Sometimes I think I question too much. Sometimes I overthink things, situations, dilemmas, problems. Sometimes my questioning morphs into worrying - and that's not good.
Sometimes I wish I could just shut off the crawl line that runs through my brain on an almost constant display. Do this. Do that. Check on this. Check on that. Call this person. Jot this thought down on paper. Don't forget to check this list. Don't forget to check that list. I really appreciate many of the features of my phone but I think I over-use the Note feature. I'm up to 65 notes - most of which I check at least once a week. Two or three of the notes get updated daily.
I think I'm addicted to notes.
I think I dislike unanswered questions so much I spend far too much time trying to come with answers and solutions.
I just read about a local teacher who has been invited to be on a team that re-writes AP tests. I feel like every day I re-write a test - hence, I never get close to the answer because I constantly change the questions.
I wonder what will become of me if I ever achieve "Supreme-answer level"? Will I be satisfied or will I simply compose a new set of questions?
It is no wonder I do not sleep well. Sometimes I feel like my brain competes in cerebral Olympics every night. I wonder why?
Ah..............a new question. I rest my case.
Ancora imparo
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Four Hundred, You Say?
I got involved because I volunteered. My church's pastor gave a sermon that involved a pie chart and the idea was born that, to help illustrate the pie chart, pie should be served to each congregational member.
This idea was floated about in August and, at the time, it seemed like a simple idea, until September 26th arrived and the time was nearing to actually put the idea into action. "How many pieces are needed?" was the question asked. "Four hundred pieces." was the answer given.
Four hundred pieces of pie - now that's a lot of pie. Then the thought wheels began to turn about how to serve four hundred pieces of pie.......then the thought wheels began to turn about how to make four hundred pieces of pie. At even nine slices per pie, the thought of making that many pies was, well, mind-boggling.
Thus, the decision was made by the Baker Herself (not me) that lemon bars would instead be made and cut into tiny, pie-slice-like pieces. The Engineer Himself created a diagram that demonstrated how a 9X13 pan of lemon bars could be cut into the maximum number of tiny, pie-slice-like pieces.
It was a profile in ingenuity - all of those tiny pie-slice-like slices of lemon-bar dessert. The pans of lemon bars were frozen in order to make the slices easier to handle. Napkins were quartered, slices transferred to the napkins and trays were loaded.
Now came the hard part. Keeping the slices from being eaten until AFTER each service. Kids and adults alike were drawn from the farthest corners of the church by some instinct that told them a dessert was lurking somewhere in the building. Even after the trays were tucked away in the corner of a room (with a window in the door), kids would peek around the corner, through the window - perhaps hoping for a lapse in pie-slice guarding - but the pie guardians were not to be distracted from their jobs of keeping the slices safe until after the services.
In the end, the majority of pie-slice-like pieces were served to the congregants of the three services. Any leftover pieces were frozen and will be used on one of the other four, future Sundays that involve a pie chart.
Four times four hundred. That's a lot of tiny, pie-slice-like pieces.
Ancora imparo
This idea was floated about in August and, at the time, it seemed like a simple idea, until September 26th arrived and the time was nearing to actually put the idea into action. "How many pieces are needed?" was the question asked. "Four hundred pieces." was the answer given.
Four hundred pieces of pie - now that's a lot of pie. Then the thought wheels began to turn about how to serve four hundred pieces of pie.......then the thought wheels began to turn about how to make four hundred pieces of pie. At even nine slices per pie, the thought of making that many pies was, well, mind-boggling.
Thus, the decision was made by the Baker Herself (not me) that lemon bars would instead be made and cut into tiny, pie-slice-like pieces. The Engineer Himself created a diagram that demonstrated how a 9X13 pan of lemon bars could be cut into the maximum number of tiny, pie-slice-like pieces.
It was a profile in ingenuity - all of those tiny pie-slice-like slices of lemon-bar dessert. The pans of lemon bars were frozen in order to make the slices easier to handle. Napkins were quartered, slices transferred to the napkins and trays were loaded.
Now came the hard part. Keeping the slices from being eaten until AFTER each service. Kids and adults alike were drawn from the farthest corners of the church by some instinct that told them a dessert was lurking somewhere in the building. Even after the trays were tucked away in the corner of a room (with a window in the door), kids would peek around the corner, through the window - perhaps hoping for a lapse in pie-slice guarding - but the pie guardians were not to be distracted from their jobs of keeping the slices safe until after the services.
In the end, the majority of pie-slice-like pieces were served to the congregants of the three services. Any leftover pieces were frozen and will be used on one of the other four, future Sundays that involve a pie chart.
Four times four hundred. That's a lot of tiny, pie-slice-like pieces.
Ancora imparo
Thursday, September 20, 2012
My Chi Is Off
My Chi. Sounds like a good Chinese dish, doesn't it? I must say that the mere mention of Chinese food makes my mouth water! There are no good Chinese restaurants near where Capt. SO and I float about. Then again, with all of the arsenic/rice warnings abounding right now, perhaps Chinese is not what I should be salivating over.
First Chi Disruption: Rice not good for you? Practically un-American!
Second Chi Disruption: Cooking (heating up, actually) sauerkraut in a small, enclosed space.
I thought I had a great dinner idea to use up some sweet Italian sausage from our Aqua RV freezer. I mean, at home, there would be nothing tastier than bratwurst-type meat simmering in a crockpot with sauerkraut. Yesterday I discovered not-so-much on an Aqua RV. Yes, the concept was appealing but when Capt. SO returned from wherever he'd been, he was feet away from Das Boot when he got this pained look on his face and he said to me, "What's that awful smell?"
First of all, that is not what you should say to your spouse (under any circumstances) when the dinner hour is near.
He proceeded to immediately open the cabin door and place a fan in front of it to try to draw out the sauerkraut "aroma". I took the large pan off the stove, placed the contents in a covered casserole dish and took it to the outside back deck, where we could share the aroma with fellow boaters. Fortunately for them, both slips on either side of us are empty (boats pulled out for the winter), and the people on the boats nearest us are not here. Because I had nothing else planned for dinner, we spooned what we wanted on plates, heated the food up in the cabin's microwave for as little time as necessary, and then rushed the plates up to the upper deck, where the wind was whipping up to near gale-force anyway, easily wafting the aroma of sauerkraut far beyond our Aqua RV.
Final Chi disruption (for now): Accepting the fact that floating season is over.
While this factoid is present each year, it never-the-less comes as a shock just the same. The realization that play-time has eneded is akin to having the recess bell ring at school - signaling the sign that it is time to return to the classroom and hunker down, once again, for learnin', cipherin', and readin'. Our larders are slowly emptying and soon it will be time to begin a serious weight-loss program. Perhaps a daily diet of gruel, sauerkraut, and stone soup will be on the menu for some time. In the meantime, I have pledged to Capt. SO NEVER to cook sauerkraut on Das Boot again.
Darn! It sounded good - on paper!
Ancora imparo
First Chi Disruption: Rice not good for you? Practically un-American!
Second Chi Disruption: Cooking (heating up, actually) sauerkraut in a small, enclosed space.
I thought I had a great dinner idea to use up some sweet Italian sausage from our Aqua RV freezer. I mean, at home, there would be nothing tastier than bratwurst-type meat simmering in a crockpot with sauerkraut. Yesterday I discovered not-so-much on an Aqua RV. Yes, the concept was appealing but when Capt. SO returned from wherever he'd been, he was feet away from Das Boot when he got this pained look on his face and he said to me, "What's that awful smell?"
First of all, that is not what you should say to your spouse (under any circumstances) when the dinner hour is near.
He proceeded to immediately open the cabin door and place a fan in front of it to try to draw out the sauerkraut "aroma". I took the large pan off the stove, placed the contents in a covered casserole dish and took it to the outside back deck, where we could share the aroma with fellow boaters. Fortunately for them, both slips on either side of us are empty (boats pulled out for the winter), and the people on the boats nearest us are not here. Because I had nothing else planned for dinner, we spooned what we wanted on plates, heated the food up in the cabin's microwave for as little time as necessary, and then rushed the plates up to the upper deck, where the wind was whipping up to near gale-force anyway, easily wafting the aroma of sauerkraut far beyond our Aqua RV.
Final Chi disruption (for now): Accepting the fact that floating season is over.
While this factoid is present each year, it never-the-less comes as a shock just the same. The realization that play-time has eneded is akin to having the recess bell ring at school - signaling the sign that it is time to return to the classroom and hunker down, once again, for learnin', cipherin', and readin'. Our larders are slowly emptying and soon it will be time to begin a serious weight-loss program. Perhaps a daily diet of gruel, sauerkraut, and stone soup will be on the menu for some time. In the meantime, I have pledged to Capt. SO NEVER to cook sauerkraut on Das Boot again.
Darn! It sounded good - on paper!
Ancora imparo
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Does Apathy Have Health Benefits?
Over a recent delicious Italian meal of lasagna, veal piccatta, veal parmigiana and pollo (chicken) parmigiana the conversation turned to American politics. Diverse opinions abounded between people of both "right" and "left" persuasions. All remarks, observations and statements were lively yet respectful. Laughter was frequently present and genuine. During the course of the evening's meal, one person commented that she had decided that apathy was the way to survive in our nation's current political and social upheaval. She remarked that she was tired of partisanism (my word) where civil discourse was practically impossible on any subject. Her words somehow hit home and resonated with me throughout the night and into the next day. Three days later, I am still processing the concept of apathy as a method of social survival.
I suspect that some people who espouse apathy are not actually apathetic underneath their proclamations of apathy, but it certainly can serve as an escape mechanism when verbal exchanges become heated and uncivil. Apathy tends to keep one's mouth shut, which definitely protects against the outrage of those who disagree with you, me or us.
It is unfortunate that, for those of us who are committed middle-of-the-roaders and politically independent, many individuals of the outer persuasions cannot nor will not accept any view other than theirs. I have long given up professing most of my opinions publicly on any topics other than sea salt, marching band precision, cat litter, font size, and bathrobe fabrics. These former topics seem to be safe from vitriolic outbursts and hateful statements in response. I'm certain that if I ever revealed my innermost opinions and viewpoints anywhere other than to my perennial hateful kitty (She dislikes everyone so I'm safe.) I'd be blacklisted from everywhere and everyone.
When did it become unsafe to express opinions on education, milk chocolate versus dark chocolate, decaf versus caffeinated coffee, types of car tires, government regulations regarding miles per gallon, the ingestion of meat, and fancy car tires versus "regular" car tires.
Am I apathetic? When it comes to caring about who the recently divorced super-model is dating, what happened yesterday in Honey Boo-boo's life, or whether or not the decidedly beautiful and devastatingly charming Dutchess of Cambridge is with child.............yest I am.
On the subjects about which I care deeply, passionately and opinionatedly..........you'll hear as little as possible. Just have dinner with me.
Ancora imparo
I suspect that some people who espouse apathy are not actually apathetic underneath their proclamations of apathy, but it certainly can serve as an escape mechanism when verbal exchanges become heated and uncivil. Apathy tends to keep one's mouth shut, which definitely protects against the outrage of those who disagree with you, me or us.
It is unfortunate that, for those of us who are committed middle-of-the-roaders and politically independent, many individuals of the outer persuasions cannot nor will not accept any view other than theirs. I have long given up professing most of my opinions publicly on any topics other than sea salt, marching band precision, cat litter, font size, and bathrobe fabrics. These former topics seem to be safe from vitriolic outbursts and hateful statements in response. I'm certain that if I ever revealed my innermost opinions and viewpoints anywhere other than to my perennial hateful kitty (She dislikes everyone so I'm safe.) I'd be blacklisted from everywhere and everyone.
When did it become unsafe to express opinions on education, milk chocolate versus dark chocolate, decaf versus caffeinated coffee, types of car tires, government regulations regarding miles per gallon, the ingestion of meat, and fancy car tires versus "regular" car tires.
Am I apathetic? When it comes to caring about who the recently divorced super-model is dating, what happened yesterday in Honey Boo-boo's life, or whether or not the decidedly beautiful and devastatingly charming Dutchess of Cambridge is with child.............yest I am.
On the subjects about which I care deeply, passionately and opinionatedly..........you'll hear as little as possible. Just have dinner with me.
Ancora imparo
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
One At A Time
In a recent email I wrote about how the promise of fall is in the air. Mother Nature is teasing us midwesterners with the occasional low-humidity, mid-seventies daytime temps and nighttime temps slipping below the sixty-degree mark............occasionally. Then She flexes her meteorological muscles and throws back some upper-eighties along with laser-beam sun and high humidity. But, the winds of change are coming as evidenced by geese gathering, school beginnings, fall-type activities starting up, the ever-shortening number of daylight hours, Friday night football, pumpkin-patch displays and apple cider doughnuts.
One of the ways I mark the passage of fall time is the gradual disappearance of fellow aqua RVs. It is practically unseen how the aqua RV's slip away, sometime within hours. You can be gone for an hour to run errands and when you return yet another boat slip is empty. Walking the docks at the hour of 8:00 p.m. finds total darkness both from the sky and docks. Last night only three slips had lights of any kind.
Yes, fall is right around the corner. Fall means the inevitable hard frost which will end roadside markets teaming with cucumbers, sweet corn, string beans and tomatoes. In their place will be bountiful displays of squash, potatoes, apples and pumpkins. Fall apple varieties are plentiful, juicy, and oh-so delicious. Who can resist the numerous types of squash? Large, small, dry, higher-water content........there is a squash for everyone just as there is an apple for every appetite and pie-maker.
I love the seasons. Each season offers something different to the lovers of seasonal activities. While I am a decidedly winter "unappreciator", I can enjoy the occasional pristine snowfall...........as long as I do not have to drive in it!
One day at a time. Every day brings changes - most of which we have no control over. I await tomorrow.
Ancora imparo
One of the ways I mark the passage of fall time is the gradual disappearance of fellow aqua RVs. It is practically unseen how the aqua RV's slip away, sometime within hours. You can be gone for an hour to run errands and when you return yet another boat slip is empty. Walking the docks at the hour of 8:00 p.m. finds total darkness both from the sky and docks. Last night only three slips had lights of any kind.
Yes, fall is right around the corner. Fall means the inevitable hard frost which will end roadside markets teaming with cucumbers, sweet corn, string beans and tomatoes. In their place will be bountiful displays of squash, potatoes, apples and pumpkins. Fall apple varieties are plentiful, juicy, and oh-so delicious. Who can resist the numerous types of squash? Large, small, dry, higher-water content........there is a squash for everyone just as there is an apple for every appetite and pie-maker.
I love the seasons. Each season offers something different to the lovers of seasonal activities. While I am a decidedly winter "unappreciator", I can enjoy the occasional pristine snowfall...........as long as I do not have to drive in it!
One day at a time. Every day brings changes - most of which we have no control over. I await tomorrow.
Ancora imparo
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